Gypsies, Tramps and Theives

The grown out Dorothy Hamill

The Coveted Cher Barbie Doll

I was singing along to Cher on the radio in the car with Emma. She’s like, “what music is this?” I said “It’s Cher. The gay queen’s idol” “Cher, you know?” And she’s like, “no, I don’t”.

So I told her about the show I used to watch called Sonny and Cher. Cher had long beautiful, black hair. The longest I’d ever seen. I used to take my nightgown off in the morning when I got dressed and pulled it over my head. But I left it there with the neck hole just over my ears like a head band. I would have the rest of the nightgown flowing behind me and I would walk around and pretend it was my ‘Cher hair’. I think I did this until I was about 7. I didn’t have long hair. I had shortish hair. My mom had me get the Dorothy Hamil haircut when I was 5. Yes, I looked precious, but geez, talk about the opposite of what a girly girl wants. No long hair for me.

I said to Emma that when I was about 5, there was the Sears catalog. It was huge, at least 2 inches thick. When I would sit on the couch and watch, you guessed it, Little House on the Prairie, I would have the Sears catalog open to the Barbie page. Next to all the Malibu Barbies, and Superstar Barbies, maybe even Charlie’s Angels Barbies, there was a Cher Barbie. I stared at that Cher Barbie for hours. I dreamed of what it would be like to comb its hair, to have it flick over her shoulder. Hoped Santa would bring it to me. I never got the Cher Barbie. Maybe it’s for the best. I did cut one of my doll’s hair once. I thought it would grow back. The Cher Barbie was too pretty to cut. Maybe there’s a Cher Barbie out there on Ebay for me.

I still put my shirt on my head sometimes and start singing, “If I Could Turn Back Time”.

And then my kids tell me to quit it.

5 thoughts on “Gypsies, Tramps and Theives

    • Hmm, I don’t remember. Maybe it was my longing to be a figure skater. But I wanted long hair too. When you’re 5, I guess it’s hard to think long term! I will just randomly blame you for certain things regardless, that’s my job as your devoted daughter. xoxo

    • You were adoring Dorothy Hamil, liked the way she moved and how her hair moved when she did that. There was a hair salon on Barrington Road, and the stylist there knew how to cut the hair just right. Maybe you were even younger than 5. And I accept your job blaming me randomly for certain things. That’s good for both our memories, says your devoted mother. xoxox

  1. I had the Cher barbie. She had long fingernails. When Cher got her hair cut short, I cut the barbie’s hair. Then Cher grew her hair back out and I cried because my doll looked wrong! I also had the Dorothy Hamil “bowl” hair cut. I wore button-up shirts and jeans. I used to get funny looks and comments walking into the girls bathroom. 🙂

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