Archive | October 14, 2011

Hail, Hail Tina Fey. Bossypants Rules.

Today I would like to just extol the virtues of Tina Fey. From Saturday Night Live to 30 Rock she is a writing goddess. She does Sarah Palin better than Sarah Palin wrote the screen play for Mean Girls which is, despite an early Lindsay Lohan movie, teen angst at its best.

I started to read Bossypants, her memoir, this week. Maybe it was because I had just finished reading Sarah’s Key, a book about the Holocaust, and I needed some levity so I thought Tina’s book was – HILARIOUS.¬† But I think it stands on its own even if you haven’t been emotionally scarred by a book that rips out your heart over a Jewish family torn apart…

ANYWAY… Miss Tina. Oh how I love you. If she’s reading this (ha!) then I want her to know that I would act just as awkward around her if I were to meet her the way she was awkward around Oprah when she met her.

This is what I love about her- she lists all her flaws on paper, tells us what Hollywood would’ve changed about her, then celebrates them. YES!! Geeky girls rule!

Here’s just¬† some of the things we are supposed to be worried about with our physical appearance:

  • muffin top
  • spider veins
  • boobs too big
  • boobs too small
  • cankles
  • saddlebags
  • calves too big
  • no calves

Then here’s some of what she celebrates about her

  • Straight Greek eyebrows that grow together and even onto your face if she didn’t pluck them
  • Rounded shoulders from sitting at a computer all day for years and years
  • and this one’s my favorite “A wad of lower-back fat that never went away after I lost my “baby weight.” One day in ten years, this back roll will meet up with my front pouch, forever obscuring my small high waist, and I will officially be my mother.”

Oh hell yes!!

See why I love her??

Now here’s my list of things I love to hate about myself, but don’t have the guts or money to surgically change and wouldn’t anyway, because screw it, I’m really just fine.

Okay:

  • Cellulite on the back of my legs since I was 15
  • thick German arms no matter how skinny I get
  • and here’s the piece de resistance, and I’m just going to tell it like it is, pardon the foul language: Seriously fucked up feet. Like really bad. I’ve had orthotics since I was 22. (read my entry on more couches at parties)
  • Freckles that have now turned to age spots
  • Moles on my back that my dermatologist lovingly calls, ‘skin barnacles’.
  • Stretch marks from having two children. So many that it looks like I was attacked by a bobcat that scratched, not just my stomach, but my entire ass.

There. Feel free to share all the things you love to hate about yourself. Guys too. Okay, you probably won’t because then next time I’ll see you, I’m just going to be looking for your third nipple, or checking to see if your nose is in fact crooked, or how your earlobes are shaped like kidney beans. Whatever.

So yay Tina Fey. For letting me feel like that even though I’m on the verge of 40, I am not a size 0, I haven’t worked professionally on the theater or screen.. EVER, I can still be amazing. And maybe even she’ll have me write for 30 Rock one day. She and I could talk over schnitzle and spetzle (her mom’s German too). More reason she should have me as a friend.

Well, thank you for reading my Tina Fey love fest. I’m going back to read Bossypants now.

Oh, and in true Frugalista fashion, I didn’t pay full price for the hardcover, which retails for $26.99, I got it for $16.99 at TJ Maxx. Cha Ching.

I'm probably breaking all kinds of copyright laws using this picture. Tina Fey, I love you, don't sue me.