Archive | November 3, 2011

My campaign strategy- and just plain ridiculousness

I don’t think I will ever run for office. James thinks this blog alone would be used against me anyway.

But since we are high time in election season (and it’s just local elections, thank goodness!).  Next year I think I’ll move to Canada,  August through November. It’s gonna get ugly… but where was I.

Oh, the moronic election signs dotting the streets. Like everywhere. For the same issue, both the con and pro say the same thing! Well, how am I supposed to decide now?? “Keep our streets safe”. Or, “Endorsed by firefighters”.

So here’s my suggestion. I think signs would get people’s attention if they said-

“Endorsed by Zombie Hunters” or “Endorsed by Ghostbusters” Of course, only if they were truly endorsed by these groups.

Then, stating the obvious is like, duh. “Keep our kids safe”, “Good for taxpayers”. Please. Snoozefest.

I would state the obvious that’s INTERESTING like, “Doesn’t strangle puppies”; “Isn’t addicted to crack”. OR- how about let’s get to the real gritty issue- “Doesn’t hire prostitutes” (this would apply to me if I was a male candidate I suppose.)

Second, I think you should change your name if it is anything out of the ordinary from Bob, John, or Michael. If it’s a porn name, you should change it. Or anything that got you teased on the play ground.

Exhibit A-    ‘Dick Pust for Mayor’. I kid….you…not.

It’s not really a porn name, it’s like a pharmaceutical condition. Can’t he go by Richard??

Good grief.