Archive | July 23, 2012

Am I Fat?

Well I’ll save you the trouble of answering that. No, I’m not.

But I still struggle with how I look, as does 99 % of the females in this country do too. I want to focus on my inner beauty. I do. But most of the time I’m a little distracted by the outer train wreck that is my aging self and I forget these important things.

I need to tell myself,  I’m okay. You need to tell YOURSELF that you’re okay. But some things in the media have been bothering me and I will get them off my chest.

Sports Illustrated swim suit model, Kate Upton, has been called fat. Fat?  Hmm, here’s a picture of her-

I’m sorry, who’s complaining?

and here-

How many folks would let her eat crackers in their bed? Show of hands please.

And here’s a blog about what the hell is wrong with people out there calling her fat. I knew about ProAna, (how-to Anorexia website) but I didn’t know about Thinspirational lingo. Gag me. And not in the Bulimia way folks.

 

So when I ask, Am I fat? the answer is still no. But I would be considered a plus size model in the industry. Plus size!  I waver around a solid size 6. My jeans are sometimes an 8, because they’re jeans people!  So Plus size? I don’t even shop at Lane Bryant. Why would I be Plus size if I don’t wear Plus size?  I’m an average size 5’6″ , one hundred and forty-five pounds.  Even my feet are an average size 8.

My BMI is healthy, my proportions are right- I’m like 34, 27, 38. Okay, I’m 32, 28,39. Whatever. It depends on the time of the month. However, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can help with the dimples, dots, divets, veins, stretch marks and pimply pale skin that is me. Between the barnacles, skin tags, 3rd nipples…did I just say that? I mean, my dermatologist says it’s just my skin overactive in the mammalian variety, whatever.. ANYWAY, it’s not pretty.

 

I am not a plus-sized, woman. I am a healthy, 40 year old, soft and squishy mom of 2!

Comments from people on Kate Upton article read,  ‘oh, she’s pretty, but she could tone up a bit’. Really people? You are going to knock a woman for being a bit, uhm, womanly? Reading fashion magazines and beauty magazines is dumbing down our senses. We are conditioned to see size zero perfectly airbrushed models that DON’T EXIST in the real world! Nit picking over every fold, inch, pudge or dimple is dangerous. Stop seeing just the hole when there’s the entire donut to focus on! A donut with chocolate icing and extra sprinkles that is so wonderful, you forget there’s a hole.

So here- tell me I’m fat. Go on, I dare ya. (Okay, please don’t. Yeah, thanks.)

Oh, who’s going to the pool??

I’m all like, yeah, whatever, like my cellulite?

Hmm, let’s see, I’m going on vacation soon!! (this one might be blurry on purpose)

Would it be fun to be a svelte, tone, size 2? Yes.  But I’m glad I’m HEALTHY, STRONG, and HAPPY!

I’m 40 and freaking fantastic!

Take that stupid magazines- you can suck my 3rd nipple. (DID I JUST SAY THAT?)

Controversey alert!! I pissed someone off.

Fried chicken, gay marriage and lap bands.

The other day I posted this article from the Huff Post on my Facebook blog page Chick Fil A – Anti-Gay – Sure it’s a little slanted view of the story. It’s a blog post on the Huff Post. What do you expect?

I figured any of my gay friends and family of gay friends would want to know that if they eat at this restaurant, their money is going to groups that want to prevent them from being married. My best friend is a lesbian. Her and her wife have a better relationship than most of the straight couples I know. End of story. I support equal rights for gay people. ALL people, for that matter!

I am also a Christian. You can tell me the Bible doesn’t allow homosexuality. The Bible also doesn’t allow tattoos, mixed fibers in our garments, shell fish, women to speak in church, marry slaves, or males to cut their hair before a certain age. Do we still follow these rules? Not many of us, I’m sure. I also don’t go into a tent when I’m on the rag and burn a pigeon when my courses have stopped that I bring to my pastor. You get my point. I find the gay marriage in the bible argument futile. I think people are just uncomfortable with things different to them and find ways to hide behind rules and restrictions. Does everyone that lives under our government follow the Bible? No. Let’s be consistent here folks.

Do pedophiles get to marry? Adulterers? Rapists? The answer is yes.  Do I make myself clear?

This blog isn’t to persuade you to support gay marriage. I don’t want to push religion, politics or anything like that down someone’s throat, I’m not going to argue to change your mind, or whatever. It’s just like a dog chasing their tail. You’re not going to get anywhere. I’m giving you my perspective.

My point really, I guess, is manners. Good human decency. And also, understanding. I seriously think people have stopped using their brain cells. They just get heated up and start spewing senseless words to try to get their point across. It’s the closest thing I’ve come to living a Real Housewives of Orange County episode. Where the safety of the internet is used as a shield to ‘yell’ at people things you wouldn’t say at a cocktail party. Only on that show, they will yell at you at a cocktail party.

This is Vickie. Vickie screams a lot when she gets angry. She’ll yell at you for sure.

Immediately after posting this Huff Post article on my Facebook page, one particular woman asked if I’m telling people not to go to Chick Fil A because it supports a man and a woman being married. I said, ” if you don’t agree then that’s your prerogative. I however support marriage rights for all, if others on MY page do too, I thought this would be useful information for them. That is all.” (this is not my personal page, remember, so I don’t know this person.)

She then said,

“YOU are spreading hate waaaaaay more than chick-fil-a did.” (direct quotes copied and pasted from the comment thread on my Facebook page)

Me? Little ol’ me? Because I merely posted an article for people to form their OWN opinion, I’m now spreading hate. OKAYY then.

The part that really riled me up comes next:

A comment from a fellow blogger What I Had Really Meant to Say went something like this- “ever since my lap band, I can’t keep it down, so I don’t go there anymore (to Chick Fil A)”

To which my female commenter said, “you have a lapband and you eat fast food? can you not control yourself? Is that why you had to have surgery to stop eating so much? (you can be a bigoted ass, so can I)”

HMM? Well, lady- NEWSFLASH- Not on MY page you can’t! You disagree with me, fine. You attack someone’s personal revelation of a medical procedure? Whoa, you’ve just jumped the line to RUDE. DISRESPECTFUL. DISGRACEFUL.

Which I then responded with “I haven’t said anything hateful, I have expressed an opinion. Please don’t criticize or judge others on my page. MY opinion is okay because it’s MY page. Chick fil A can do what they want. And as a consumer, I can choose not to support them.”

She then continued to call us all bigots and I warned her to leave my page if she didn’t play nice. She, very much in a playground sort of way, said, “Fine, I’ve ‘unliked’ you already”. Which I guess is her way of not saving me a place at lunch in the cafeteria before recess. Boo hoo, remind me to be sad. (sarcasm folks)

So – here is my point-( sorry, a million words later!)

I think if she said something ENTIRELY different, I would’ve engaged her in a pleasant conversation. One which goes like,
“I’m sorry you feel this way. I didn’t see this article as accurate. I will support eating there anyway.”

To which I would have said, “Thank you for your understanding. We can agree to disagree.”

Well, okay, that’s kind of a Utopian dialogue, but do you see where I’m going with this? She went from 0 to 60 in like 2 seconds flat. She immediately started insulting me and other followers commenting. That is a no-no.

Part of me regrets even posting the article in the first place. I HATE conflict. But then most of me thought to myself, that I have to stand my ground. I will stand politely, with dignity and compassion. But I’m not going to be yelled at (through a key board) or insulted. I know that politics and religion are fodder for much controversy. But not speaking, being apathetic, is frightening to me.

I would like to clarify a few things.

The definition of bigot- Taken from Dictionary.com-

a person who is intolerant of any ideas other than his or her own, esp on religion, politics, or race

The definition of civil rights- Taken from Dictionary.com-

1.rights to personal liberty established by the 13th and 14th Amendments to the U.S. constitution and certain Congressional acts, especially as applied to an individual or a minority group.

2.the rights to full legal, social, and economic equality extended to blacks.

Let’s fill in the blanks to this sentence.
“I have no problem with __________________. I just don’t think it’s okay they get married or have the same rights as I do.” 
I’m not okay with this.
I’m a bigot because I support someone else to have the same rights as me? Weird. That wasn’t how I saw it.
Stuff like this always shakes me to my core. Makes me doubt myself. But thanks to lots of others coming to my defense, I felt good about all the positive that comes with my blogging and Facebook page posts.
Will I post things again that are controversial? Probably. Sometimes people can pick an issue with ANYTHING. Once I wrote a Facebook post about being careful out in the sun. An entire debate about SPF and Vitamin D ensued somewhat passionately. Really folks? Why so negative?
You may have noticed a badge on my site called “The Mom Pledge”. I took The Mom Pledge awhile back after reading another blogger discuss their troll, so I posted- I’m Afraid of Trolls. I haven’t even been doing this for a year folks. I don’t get paid. I don’t look for ‘fame’. It’s just me. Take it or leave it. And if you leave it, please don’t throw shit on your way out.
There are three things in life that are most important- to be kind, to be kind, and to be kind. ~Mother Theresa
Well, I hope I haven’t pissed you off too much.
Peace. Really. Peace.