Tag Archive | beauty

I’d like a side of herpes to go with that lipstick please.

EWW GROSS!  I jest. But lately, I think that’s what people are doing. Spreading their oral herpes liberally via makeup at the store.  This has to stop people.

This week has been riddled with bringing things home from the store only to find that they have been…. dun dun dun…… USED!!!

People!  What is wrong with you? Don’t you know that you don’t use the lipsticks on the shelf if they aren’t testers? I don’t want your Abreva medicine on MY lipstick tube.

Case 1- Went to Walgreens because I found on Pinterest a gal that posts low end brands identical to high end brands. Being the makeup whore that I am, I wanted to check out a few. So I’m perusing the shelves of Cover Girl, Revlon and L’Oreal. Not that I would call this stuff ‘low end’ any more. They’re charging $10 for a lipstick now! Geeze, I remember when I bought a Clinique lipstick for $10.

Well, I just went through looking for the colors on my list, dropped them in my basket and checked out.

I get in my car, like any junkie does, and begin to open up my purchase to check out the loot. Apparently, I didn’t have much to check out, first tube I open, I notice the seal has been broken. Dammit. Total brain fart maneuver for me not to have checked this in the store first. I proceed with caution. I know the herpes isn’t going to jump from the tube to my lips, but I’ve now begun conducting my own CSI investigation. Gloves on, black light out…. I notice…. the surface of the lipstick has been touched by human flesh. Double dammit.

Moving on to the next tube. Yep, same thing there.

Three items that I bought were contaminated. I went inside to check the shelf and the remaining products were also tampered with. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?? I pointed out to the Walgreens lady and she said that she’s tired of telling people to stop using the stuff because they get mad at her. Sounds like a fun job. Working at Walgreens AND getting stink eye looks from people tampering with merchandise.

Whatever happened to, ‘you mess it you buy it’? Although, I have knocked over 3 bottles of olive oil in the middle of Cost Plus World Market, and the mess that ensued was disastrous. How I’m even allowed in those stores at all is amazing.  I was relieved they didn’t hold me to the rule, “you break it, you buy it” during that incident.

Back to my infected product rant- later in the week, Emma and I are at Sephora killing time before we head in to a movie. I see two women over at the mirror with a Givenchy mascara tester, yes tester, thank goodness. BUT… and I mean a big BUT, they were putting it on directly from the TUBE using the WAND that comes with it. Anyone knows you use those little mini wands they have at the end caps and you only dip ONCE. No DOUBLE DIPPING. Now that tester has their conjunctivitis all over it.

I used to work at Clinique with Nordstrom. If you are at all familiar with Nordstrom’s liberal return policies, they take back ANYTHING. Well, they did in the 90s anyway. So people would return make up all the time. No biggy. That’s cool. And you can use it and decide you don’t like it and still return it. My favorite though were the customers that would nicely hand me the package, receipt, everything. Then I would ask if  there something wrong with it. You know, to utilize my skillful customer service skillz, because I was supposed to try and sell them something else. Hey, I worked on commission.

So they would say, no thanks, and then they would explain rather sheepishly, “I only used the lipstick once.” or “I only used the eye pencil once.”

And I would politely carry on with my uber friendly customer service. But in my head, the dialogue goes like this, “Oh, you only used it once? Well then I will put that in the USED ONLY ONCE DRAWER. We have a special discount for once used products. Like a roulette wheel of sorts. Great bargains!”

But I didn’t. I just smiled. I don’t care if you’ve used it ONCE or 43 times, that shit is going back to the manufacturer. Should I wipe it off and sell it to the next poor sod? No.

So that brings me to the Walgreens lipsticks. When I saw them in my car that they had been used, I totally thought of some nice lady, “I only used it once.” And then I pictured a puss-filled broken sore on her upper lip, and that’s why I returned them.

Lesson 1- Don’t use products on the shelves that are packaged specifically for tampering. If it’s sealed, don’t unseal it dammit!

Lesson 2- When using a tester, use the little doohickeys they provide and don’t double dip.

Lesson 3- I will never use a mascara at Sephora again.

Please don’t use makeup at the store if you have one of these.

Disclaimer- Do not google images of herpes or conjunctivitis. It will ruin you. There are some things that can’t be unseen.

I also do not believe that every single person who has used a tester at Sephora is contaminated or infected. This is just merely exaggeration for the sake of the blog people.

Am I Fat?

Well I’ll save you the trouble of answering that. No, I’m not.

But I still struggle with how I look, as does 99 % of the females in this country do too. I want to focus on my inner beauty. I do. But most of the time I’m a little distracted by the outer train wreck that is my aging self and I forget these important things.

I need to tell myself,  I’m okay. You need to tell YOURSELF that you’re okay. But some things in the media have been bothering me and I will get them off my chest.

Sports Illustrated swim suit model, Kate Upton, has been called fat. Fat?  Hmm, here’s a picture of her-

I’m sorry, who’s complaining?

and here-

How many folks would let her eat crackers in their bed? Show of hands please.

And here’s a blog about what the hell is wrong with people out there calling her fat. I knew about ProAna, (how-to Anorexia website) but I didn’t know about Thinspirational lingo. Gag me. And not in the Bulimia way folks.

 

So when I ask, Am I fat? the answer is still no. But I would be considered a plus size model in the industry. Plus size!  I waver around a solid size 6. My jeans are sometimes an 8, because they’re jeans people!  So Plus size? I don’t even shop at Lane Bryant. Why would I be Plus size if I don’t wear Plus size?  I’m an average size 5’6″ , one hundred and forty-five pounds.  Even my feet are an average size 8.

My BMI is healthy, my proportions are right- I’m like 34, 27, 38. Okay, I’m 32, 28,39. Whatever. It depends on the time of the month. However, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can help with the dimples, dots, divets, veins, stretch marks and pimply pale skin that is me. Between the barnacles, skin tags, 3rd nipples…did I just say that? I mean, my dermatologist says it’s just my skin overactive in the mammalian variety, whatever.. ANYWAY, it’s not pretty.

 

I am not a plus-sized, woman. I am a healthy, 40 year old, soft and squishy mom of 2!

Comments from people on Kate Upton article read,  ‘oh, she’s pretty, but she could tone up a bit’. Really people? You are going to knock a woman for being a bit, uhm, womanly? Reading fashion magazines and beauty magazines is dumbing down our senses. We are conditioned to see size zero perfectly airbrushed models that DON’T EXIST in the real world! Nit picking over every fold, inch, pudge or dimple is dangerous. Stop seeing just the hole when there’s the entire donut to focus on! A donut with chocolate icing and extra sprinkles that is so wonderful, you forget there’s a hole.

So here- tell me I’m fat. Go on, I dare ya. (Okay, please don’t. Yeah, thanks.)

Oh, who’s going to the pool??

I’m all like, yeah, whatever, like my cellulite?

Hmm, let’s see, I’m going on vacation soon!! (this one might be blurry on purpose)

Would it be fun to be a svelte, tone, size 2? Yes.  But I’m glad I’m HEALTHY, STRONG, and HAPPY!

I’m 40 and freaking fantastic!

Take that stupid magazines- you can suck my 3rd nipple. (DID I JUST SAY THAT?)

Beauty advice that you shouldn’t follow from me.

Here’s the thing- I love me some product. Put me in a Sephora store and let me run free. I could spend hours in there. I get this crazy high from the product smell. The florescent lights. The colors and product to dabble with. I smile and act like I know what I’m doing. Nobody bothers me. I don’t feel intimidated. It’s a playground! It’s like a little Julie Andrews- hills are alive- moment I feel each time.

I should just go to cosmetology school. I could do hair, nails, facials, you name it! Well, I THINK I can. There’s a difference of what I THINK I can do, and what I actually SHOULD do.

Things I SHOULDN’T

Let’s start with 7th grade:

You TOO can have golden locks!!

Sun In

You know you did it. It didn’t matter what your natural hair color was. The temptation of those cute beach girls lightening their hair in the commercial was too much to resist. How easy it was to just spray on the stuff- and Voila! Orange hair. Or straw blond. Not strawberry blond. STRAW blond. Like hay. Dry and yellow. Whichever. Guys used it too <<cough McSweetie cough>>.

Ogilvie Home Perm

How many times I made my mom do this god awful process. Hey- perms were IN back in the 80s! Who DIDN’T want body and luscious waves? Who DIDN’T want a poodle perm? COME ON! Sad thing was- my hair was so hard to curl, it only lasted about a week. And the SMELL. Oh the smell…

If I could ONLY have looked like this!! Luckily, I have no actual pictures documenting MY hair don't.

Adult beauty mistakes:

DIY Hair color

Within the last 10 years, I went against better sense and colored my hair at home. My cool blond tresses have never been the same. The box of color was on the Target clearance end-cap. Tell me Sarah Jessica Parker doesn’t just pick up her hair color at Target. Right?  I followed the instruction booklet closely. The color was something like Champagne blond on the label. I looked more like Blush champagne when I was done. Like Arbor Mist Blond. A little on the strawberry side. A little flat too. It killed my highlights and made me really reddish blond. If that is even a color. I went to my regular gal and got a foil to break it up a bit. She laughed at me and made me Girl Scout swear never to do it again. Anyone out there who does color their hair from a box- I’m jealous.

Frownies- WTF? Huh!

Just look at this picture.

Yes, that's my forehead.

They are these paper sticky things you put on your ‘frown lines’ and it takes the place of Botox. Trains your facial muscles to relax so you don’t furrow and squint unnecessarily. Are they working? Well, it’s like a treadmill, it might work if you use them. But they kind of feel weird and hurt when you peel them off and you need to wear them up to 3 hours at a time or overnight. When am I going to go 3 straight hours with paper triangles stuck to my face?? And at night, I always ‘forget’ (translation, I’m too embarrassed to wear them in  front of the hubs). So they just sit in my drawer collecting dust.

Be careful of fruit acid peels. When it says not to use more than 2 times a week. Follow that rule. If you don’t. You will look like you went skiing with goggles on a sunny day.

Fruit peel or idiot who didn't use sunscreen?

Waxing-

I wax my eyebrows successfully each month. Remember when I told you I didn’t wax anywhere else?

Well, I decided to shave instead. BIG MISTAKE.

Let’s see how I can put this.

If you trim DOWN THERE with just a regular razor for your legs, it gets a little hedgehoggy. Maybe waxing would eliminate the stubble. But right now, the grow-out is pretty prickly. It seems that after writing my blog, Wax On, Wax Off– I almost felt like I could challenge myself and see what could be done DOWN THERE. Well, never again. I’m leaving it alone. It’s not itchy though. Yet. Maybe I shouldn’t have used the razor that was a month old sitting in my shower.

Oh look- it's my vajajay!

THINGS I WON”T TRY-

Anal bleaching- there is no reason I would do this myself or pay someone to do this for me. My anus has never been the same since child birth. I will leave it at that. I’m not auditioning to be in a porno in the near future, so it will stay its original color I was born with.

Eye lash extensions. I might get this done by a professional. I won’t do it myself. I don’t have a steady surgeons hand. I would look like Tammy Faye if I tried this. I don’t even think you can get your hands on the stuff if you aren’t a professional.

Eyebrow tinting.

Bird Poop beauty masks- yeah in Japan or somewhere they take bird poop- I’m hoping it’s special birds and not just pigeon shit. Not that it makes it better! They use the poop in beauty masks.  Anyway- Asian women are on a quest for white, porcelain skin, and there’s an ingredient in the poop that lightens skin.

Leaches- yep. This is sort of making a ‘come back’. Apparently, Demi Moore does this. Demi Moore also smoked some bad salvia and ended up in the hospital. I’m not taking beauty advice from Demi any time soon.

Botox- okay, except for the lady who injected beef fat in her own face- who would ever do this on their own? My Beef with Botox I’m not saying I’m not doing Botox ever. I’m just not doing it MYSELF!

Piercings, tongue splitting or scarring. Just don’t even go there..

So there you have it. Confessions of a not quite Beauty School Dropout. Not bad, right? Okay, maybe just a little…

Raindrops on Roses

Whiskers on kittens…

I’m not Oprah. I won’t do a list of Favorite Things. And you won’t get anything for free.  But here’s some things that make me happy.

And since I complain all the time, I like balance. So I am giving you the yang to last week’s yin.

Sprout watches

"put a bird on it"

They’re made from corn resin, are mercury free, have recycled parts and smart packaging. AND they are very affordable. Super cute. I want one in every color. I have white and off-white. Their leather straps are made from fish skin. FISH SKIN! It’s already harvested and put to use. (Available at Nordstrom, Macys, and Sproutwatches.com)

Whitney

As in Cummings the comedienne not, Houston, Bobby Brown’s ex. She’s hilarious, cute, raunchy and still kind of sweet. I love the show and the characters’ dynamics. Her boyfriend is kind of lovable in a scruffy way. (NBC, Wednesday nights)

Alex and Whitney from "Whitney"

Neville Longbottom

HELLO? I’ve been saying all year that he’s the most under-rated Harry Potter character. The only reason Gryffindor won the house cup in the first book/movie is because of him, and they over came Lord Voldemort in the last one because of him too. Way to go Neville. And Matthew Lewis is super dashing with his straight teeth.

From awkward fella, to handsome young man.

Twice baked chocolate croissants

Bakery Nouveau has the corner-market on this. Enough can’t be said. Come to these parts and find out.

Thousand Island dressing

I still enjoy it even though it’s a little gross. A seafood louis salad with tomatoes and Thousand Island is a summer staple.

Eco tools make up brushes

These little babies are super affordable, planet friendly (I like ‘green’ things) and are some of my favorite make up tools. The bristles are soft, hold up to washing and apply makeup beautifully. They are very affordable and found at Target. Love them.

You can pretty much buy these anywhere.

Bridesmaids – the movie

Do I need to say more? BEST CHICK MOVIE EVER. I’m a huge Kristen Wiig fan, and now I’m a huge Melissa McCarthy fan. Gotta love smart, talented funny women.

Hilarious.

UPS

Duh? That little brown truck brings me all my goodies. Love it!

Am I too old for Cosmo?

A recent article online featured trends that women love but men hate.

I’m going to say, most women I know, don’t care for them either. Unless this article  got their stats from Cosmopolitan or Seventeen magazine, then I’m pretty sure, no one I know is sporting any of these trends soon.

Here’s the article:

Make up Women Love but Men Hate

I will be turning 40 this year.  I’m good with this. There are parts of me I would like to trade with my 20 year old self and then preserve them forever by means of exercise, diet or habits. But that’s not going to happen. If I could talk to my 20 year old self, I would say, work out because the skinny doesn’t last and the flabbier you are, the more it sags with time. I would also say to that 20 year old self, stop trying to get a tan! Ahh youth, wasted on the young, right?

Most of my friends are in their 30s and 40s as well. So last I checked, no one I knows wears neon lipstick, bold eyeshadow or  thick, cakey makeup. Where does Yahoo get their stories from? Who are these women that ‘love’ these looks?

My day pretty much consists of- my home, the bus stop, one of my kids’ schools, a PTA meeting, a trip to Target or the gym, and maybe coffee with a friend. So unless I’m sporting glitter at the PTA meeting, I’m not partaking in the latest make up trend.  I guess I could start wearing glitter to PTA meetings and then everyone will wonder if I’ve started moonlighting as one of those bikini baristas or something to earn some extra money.

This really brings out my eye color.

How's this for a natural 'day' look?

Confession-

I DO have a subscription to Cosmopolitan. I have to hide it from my kids. It’s embarrassing. And let me just say, the only reason I have it, is because I got a Groupon and the subscription was 12 months for $10. I figured I could benefit from the bedroom advice, and maybe beauty articles. Obviously, I am not the demographic this magazine writes for! I am not 20, I don’t have a boyfriend I’m looking to snag, I do have children, and I don’t need advice on a pushy boss that is out to get me. Most everything in these pages is over the top. Am I that much of a prude or am I just acting my age?

HINT- there's a few articles about sex in there.

We’re all just crazy, fat Americans…that need bibles.

Oh, just pipe down! I’m not calling you fat. And not all Americans are fat. Yet.

But by judging the display at Barnes & Noble, the commercials on TV and the headlines on the health magazines for women AND men; we are all fat and in need of ‘sexy, slim thighs’, or ‘detoxing’, or getting the ‘skinny girl’s bible’. And don’t even get me started with all those damn resolutions people are making out there to lose weight or the ads that tell us we should. Yes, I posted about exercising my ass off recently. But I also explained the personal benefits to this besides fitting into my jeans. Snap.

Well if this is THE break up bible, forget the other books on the subject!

oh looky here- ANOTHER Bible

Let’s slow down. Okay, for starters there’s only one Bible.  Does everyone from Suzanne Somers to Christina Ferrera have to have their diet book with “bible” in the title?

Also, those ‘5 moves to sexier, skinnier thighs’ never work. Why? Because I only do them twice that week. And then I lose the magazine under a pile of laundry and start PMSing and don’t feel like working out.

And, while I’m on the subject- does Marie Osmond get Botox all over her face and IN her mouth as well? She does the ads for Nutrisystem and she looks weird. Her mouth doesn’t move. Well, it does. But like Guy Smiley on Sesame Street. Only the bottom half moves like a muppet. I like Marie. I don’t like her dolls though. I’m glad she’s skinny. I just wish her mouth moved like a human’s.

Guy Smiley from Sesame Street. Maybe he's had botox.

That looks TOTALLY natural.

Marie Osmond Doll. Probably has had botox.

Now Janet Jackson is doing Nutrisystem too. I thought with all her dancing she was skinny. Emma sees the commercial and says. “Mom, that’s creepy. Isn’t she Michael Jackson’s wife, but she looks just like him.”

Apparently, I need to teach Emma some Janet, (Miss Jackson to her) songs and stuff.

When I put a search in on the Barnes & Noble site for ‘celebrity diet books’, for some reason the Masturbate-athons and Wanks Weeks book came up. I’ll have to check that out later for my next blog post….

Back to Suzanne Somers. Only in America can Chrissy from Three’s Company publish a dozen books on how to stay sexy, cancer free, menopause free, and skinny after 40. If based on the number of books she’s published, she is the world’s most renowned expert on being sexy, fabulous, sugar free and thin forever. For sure.

Stop the presses- this is the end all of sexy recipe Bibles!

I can understand all the variety of diet books, cook books and self help books. We are the land of opportunity. To each his own. I mean, why not? There’s a million freakin’ bloggers out there. That’s great. Anyone can write a book. Maybe I will. I’ll call it, “The Blogging Bible”…

I admit, I am guilty of subscribing to half a dozen women’s health and beauty magazines. I think I have amnesia every time I open one. I get all excited for my new body in 30 days. The only time they work is if I’m reading them while on the elliptical.

It’s amusing to me and sometimes inspiring. I take them with a grain of salt. On the rim of my margarita glass.

My Extravagant Hussy ‘favorites’ list

This list beats all other lists. It’s a list my husband shouldn’t read. Because he does not need to know that mascara can cost $20 and all my maintenance and beauty arsenal isn’t found at Walgreens or Big Lots.

Extravagant Hussy is a term my mom’s friend uses when she buys something expensive for herself. It’s sounds better than Fancy Slut or Expensive Bitch. But everyone, even Frugalistas have an Extravagant Hussy inside them that needs to come out sometimes.

So these are products that I LOVE and buy infrequently, or when I’ve done something spectacular, like chaperone a field trip for my kids’ school. It’s healthier than binge drinking and cheaper than therapy, so this is how I rationalize it.

Here they are:

1. Dior Addict Lipstick (Nordstrom, Sephora)

I find this lipstick to be luxurious, dewy, somewhat glossy, and just the right amount of opacity.  The tube looks fancy and the colors are flattering. What more could you ask for?

2. Shellac manicures at Julep (Seattle area only)

This is definitely a local gem to the Seattle area. I’m sure there are other nail bars in metropolitan cities that offer immaculate conditions, toxin free products, and aestheticians that are deft in their craft. Emmy did my last shellac at Julep. She is like the Michelangelo of nail technicians. Perfection.

3. It’s a 10 leave-in conditioner spray (Ulta, CVS)

You may already know I’m crazy about my WEN cleansing conditioner. But this leave-in spray is so good for these harsh, cold, dry days. I always get fly-aways from wearing hats, but this seems to tame them. Emma is using it too on her ends to keep them smooth.

4. Koh Gen Do moisture foundation (Barneys, Sephora.com)

Oh this stuff is magnificent. I’m not sure why the Japanese have the cornerstone  on make up, it must be all those Geisha girls in Japan that know how to have flawless skin. This is truly lightweight, buildable coverage; dewy, yet not greasy and makes you look flawless in pictures.

5. Giorgio Armani wet/dry powder compact (Nordstrom)

I use just a smidge of this with a nice fluffy brush over my foundation. It sets the makeup, doesn’t look chalky, and if you are having a bad face day and oily skin, you can use a wet sponge and go to town all over to get maximum coverage.

6. Cle de Peau concealer (Nordstrom, Barneys, Neiman Marcus)

The Rolls Royce of concealers. This baby wins awards from editors all the time. Pricey, but good. You will love it. Lasts forever too. I dot it on with a brush over my foundation before I powder. I even cover some freckles and sun spots with it. Truly a make up junkies magic wand.

7. Benefit High Beam (Sephora, Macy’s)

I love a little dot of this high light over my cheekbones. It’s great for date night, holiday parties, or special occasions. Not too much to draw attention to your wrinkles, but just a little glow over your makeup. Makes you look 20 again.

8. Benefit Powderflage (Sephora, Macy’s)

This is a funky little product. It comes in a little round orb. It’s a very light weight, light-diffusing concealer powder that comes with this tiny fan shaped brush. I use it to just dab a little bit of powder under my eyes for high light, to set my concealer, and to whisk away any eye shadow dust that’s fallen on my cheekbones. Such a little itty bitty thing- but lasts a long time since you don’t use much.

9. Dior Eyeshadow Palette (Nordstrom, Sephora, Nieman Marcus)

Dior eyeshadow is the best. It’s pigments are intense, true and lasting. The compacts are convenient and pair the perfect color combinations. Once you’ve tried these, you will never ever go to any drugstore product again. Worth. Every. Penny.

10. Avene moisture SPF 25 for Redness Relief (Soap.com, Skinstore.com)

I have sensitive skin. And I have rosacea, an alabaster complexion, I flush easily, and I get bumps when I go out in the sun. Wow. Lovely, huh? I always, always, always, (one more time) always, wear SPF, all year ’round. To keep my dry skin from being too dry, and or it to not break out from something too heavy, I need the perfect product. This has a slight tint of green, but not enough to make you look like a zombie or you need a new liver. It’s just a bit to cancel the red, ruddy cheeks my English genetics gave me.

Remember, I haven’t been endorsed by any companies, nor has anyone certified me on my expertise. Although my husband might certify me as crazy since I am a self-confessed product whore.  Hey, if you’re going to be any kind of whore, a product whore is the right kind. Right? I’ll shut up now.

My top 5 favorite products. Or 10. There’s a lot I like.

Maybe some of you read my blog for my witty banter about my kids and husband. Maybe some of you like to hear what my super cat is up to. And some of you read it and don’t finish it because you’re like, this woman is an idiot.

For those that read for my shopping, fashion and beauty wisdom, this is for you. Because I can say I’m so wise when it comes to beauty because….well, because, I buy a lot of shit and I worked in cosmetics for like 5 years. There. Yeah. Basically, I’m a self taught makeup/product aficionado. Just so you know, there’s no real scientific explanation or actual certification I got. It’s just my opinion. ALSO, the cool thing about my recommendations is no one is paying me to endorse them. I think beauty editors and bloggers get paid by companies. SO mine are completely neutral and honest. If I do ever sell myself out, you know  it would only be to put my kids through braces, college and their weddings.

Here’s my list:

WEN cleansing conditioner (QVC.com)

Their slogan is ‘Friends don’t let Friends use shampoo”. I love this stuff. My hair is like flaxen strands of silk. (okay, that’s a little exaggerated)  I would bathe every head and follicle in my household in this ‘cleansing  conditioner’, (it is not shampoo), if I could afford to. This is a mostly natural, non-sudsing, shampoo- conditioner-detangler-deep conditioning treatment in one product. If you’ve used it and don’t like it, it’s probably because you didn’t use enough product and water to make it do it’s thing. It’s a tricky deal. But once you’ve mastered it, you’ll be hooked. If you don’t want to afford it, or bother, just promise me you’ll use sulfate-free shampoo. If you color your hair and are using shampoo with sulfates (even high end brands have it, check the label) you are not doing yourself any favors.

Jane Iredale Magic Mitt (Beauty.com)

This washcloth is a microfiber mitt with a million little grippy loops that take away your makeup and dirt. No cleanser needed. You wash it with hand soap after you’re done, rinse it well, wring it out to hang to dry and use it over and over. It’s made of antibacterial fabric.  Takes off everything- waterproof stuff too.

Nature’s Gate Glow lotion (Target)

This gradual self tanner lotion has replaced my Jergens bottle. I like it’s natural ingredients and it’s pump dispenser. It’s very subtle for my alabaster complexion but gives a honey-tinted glow.

Weleda Food for the skin (Target, Whole Foods)

This is like Aquaphor but natural and made by Germans. I love products made in Germany. If you need something heavy and slick for chapped areas but don’t like petroleum in a lot of products out there, this is very pleasant.
It seems to nourish your skin- just like the label says- ‘skin food’. Don’t eat it though.

Clean and Clear pimple paste (Target)

I’ve talked about this one before. It’s white so you can only use it at night. Dries up zits. Period.

Josie Maran Argan Oil (QVC and Sephora)

If you’ve noticed, Argan Oil is everywhere now. It’s like what soy was in 2005. You’re going to start seeing it in baby formula and cat food for crying out loud! It’s a precious oil from Morocco that is great for your hair and skin. You don’t need a fancy brand of it, it can be very expensive, just read the ingredients list that what you do buy isn’t full of fillers and preservatives. You want the pure oil.

EOS lip balm and shave cream (Ulta)

These lip balms come in these round balls they are so cute and roll over your lips soothingly. (That read kind of weird.)  Their lotion is similar in packaging. All eco-friendly, happy ingredients and no fillers.

Urban Decay shadow primer (Ulta,  Sephora, Beauty.com)

This is it. You will wonder why you lived without this product. It comes in four different formulas. All good. It just depends on your taste. Does your eyeshadow fade, crease, wander? This will stop it from doing all of those. Done. You’re welcome.

Bliss Oxygen mask (Sephora)

I love Bliss products. One day I want to go to their New York spa. This is their affordable version of your own spa at home. It foams up and makes your skin feel soft and look brighter. I put it on in the shower and let it do it’s thing while I shave my legs. And then I look like Heidi Klum.

Preserve Toothbrushes (Whole Foods, Trader Joes)

I love these little guys. They are made with recycled yogurt containers. When you’re done with one, buy a new one and pop the old one into the new one’s wrapper. Tape it shut and drop it in a mailbox. They will recycle your toothbrush into another toothbrush. Not in the gross way. They refab the plastic, not the bristles! No worries.

Oh, one more I had to squeeze in-

John Frieda Full Repair Flyaway Tamer

You know those little frizzy hairs at your part line? Or the baby hairs at your temples that are from when your hair grew back after it all fell out having kids and then it never grew in the same way? Well, whatever stray hairs you have- this product is for that. Some magazines and editorials say to take an eyebrow brush with hairspray and brush over them. What I don’t like about this, is, the hairspray evaporates and within a couple hours, my hairs are springing up like goosebumps in December. This is the perfect blend of control and non-greasiness.

Have fun and let me know how you like them. I promise I won’t say I told you so.