Tag Archive | stupid people

Welcome to the segment I like to call- people who I hope aren’t really stupid but just say stupid things.

When you are a parent you are open to a huge amount of unsolicited advice and questions about your parenting and/or your children.

It starts with pregnancy-

When are you due? Okay this one is harmless and I ask it too.

Why didn't I think of this? Mine would have had a nice 'now STFU' embroidered underneath it.

What are you having? A baby.

Oh you aren’t big at all. Seriously? I’ve gained 40 pounds, can’t see my feet or tie my shoes, and when I sit on the toilet I lean back because my belly hits my knees;  but sure, I am so petite. Yeah.

Oh you are big. No shit.

Then comes the baby-

What’s his name? HER name is….was the pink hat a clue? How about the dress? I don’t mind gender neutral babies, people who don’t like pink fluffy stuff. That’s fine. But if the baby is wearing pink, I’m pretty darn sure it’s a girl.

"CUTE! What's his name?"

The following questions are my favorite:

My friend is half Korean, her husband is Chinese. Her daughters both look Asian. I guess my friend looks less Asian. While out with her infant daughter at a store, a woman asked, “Where did you get her?” I guess she meant what country and that my friend’s daughter looked nothing like her; ergo she’s adopted. Whatevs.

"Cute baby. Where did you get it?"

My husband’s cousin has three children. I am one of three children. My husband is one of three children. There’s a lot of people with three children. When mentioned cousin was out with all three of her children the other day the words, ‘you have your hands full‘ were used. This is par for the course. Then, the woman asked, ‘Are they all yours?‘ She’s not Octomom for crying out loud!

"OOH, she looks like she has her hands full." Duh.

Other mundane conversation starters- Is he sleeping through the night? You’re using cloth diapers? Good luck with that!

She still sleeps in your bed?

You’re STILL breast feeding?    What? It’s not like he’s TEN!

OOh, you STOPPED breast feeding? That’s sad.  My nipples had fallen off and the doctor recommended I stop.

You look tired.

Thanks. I am. Of you.

This picture is so unrealistic. I haven't gotten an ironing board out in 12 years.

Pet Peeves 2.0 or rather, Stuff That Pisses Me Off.

I like to point out the ridiculous and nonsensical. Common sense isn’t so common people. Have you seen the Darwin Awards?

I forgot a few pissy items from my last list. (It will always be a work in progress.) In honor of 2012, here’s 12 things that rub me the wrong way. (Or when the children aren’t around, make me say, WTF.)

1. Baby on Board placards in people cars. So what? Thank you for sharing that with me. I will try not to run my car up your car’s ass.

2. All disposable razors marketed in the US for men AND women. Really? 5 blades? Mach 6? Pretty soon razors are going to look like a wood rasp from your Grandpa’s work shop. We’ll just slice it all off in one swipe.

3. People that don’t have call-waiting or don’t know how to use it.

4. Elizabeth Hasslebeck

5. People who wear pajama bottoms in public.

6. People that still use the word ‘gay’ as a description for something stupid or silly. Like, “did you see Gigli with Ben Affleck, it was so gay.”

7. Bank of America

8. The improper use of then, than, your and you’re. Especially on Facebook.

9. When you sit down with a fresh cup of coffee and the dog scratches to go out.

10. Man boobs on children

11. Men who think their penis is attractive enough to send a picture of it to someone. Especially politicians or sports celebrities that do this. FYI- Penises are ugly.

12. Alduteresses that come forward to sell their story in the media and then hire Gloria Allred to represent them.