RTLF- #13 Thank God I don’t homeschool*

Well, this is it. Our last official weekend of summer. I’m sad to see this summer go. It was truly the best one on the books. But hells to the no, if I home-schooled, I’d be bald right now. I would have pulled out every last strand of hair in utter panic and frustration. *(Is home school one word or two? This is why my kids education is not up to me) Lesson plans, keeping kids on task, focused uninterrupted learning? HA!

On Tuesday the kids start school. Ahh. Yes. I’m not looking forward to getting up at 6:30 to get the girl out of her bed to drag her to the bus stop. I’m not looking forward to making lunch every day. Not that it’s HARD, but those UNCRUSTABLES don’t get in those lunch boxes by themselves.

I AM looking forward to going into each child’s room and scrounging under their bed and giving away to GOODWILL any last thing they’ve been holding on to for eons, forgotten, covered in cat hair and dust bunnies. Zombie apocalypse here we come- we’ll be able to hide UNDER our beds from now on. Because that wasn’t possible originally.

I am looking forward to having chunks of peace and quiet and the house to myself to watch back to back episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Have you seen Theresa’s hairline? That poor girl needs laser. And a brain transplant. She is off her rocker.

And if Downton Abbey Season 2 comes to Netflix streaming, watch out. Because this bitch is going all PBS on everyone. How I love stiff British people (that’s what she said) and their hierarchies of servant society.

Also with the school year comes soccer practice, Girl Scout meetings, Cub Scout events, PTA meetings, homework, Parent Teacher conferences… washing the PE uniform every weekend. Again- not that it’s HARD, but gosh darn, loading those clothes in the big machine gets tiresome.

Days will get shorter, bed times will be earlier.  Snooze buttons will be beat to hell.

But this is how it is – The Circle of Life. Cue Elton John please. Not the baby lion cub born, daddy lion dies- circle of life. I’m talking about the school Circle of Life. Autumn, back to school clothes (I might need a back to school handbag and boots), flannel sheets, Halloween, then the holidays…. and then we start again with Spring and our desire to crawl out of our holes again to summer and feel the sun on our faces.

I think I’m ready for it.

OH and I asked the Google, and Homeschool IS one word.

9 thoughts on “RTLF- #13 Thank God I don’t homeschool*

  1. The gift of home schoolers is…mine are right now camping in the Rockies, for almost 3 weeks, it’s been spectacular for them, it is a yearly dad and daughter trek, and school began here around the 20th….the extended freedom and extension of education is way too marvelous to give up…..just speaking as a grammy of those home schooled….

  2. Homeschool is indeed one word–as I know, since I was one of the people who got it into the Merriam-Webster dictionary as a legitimate term over a decade ago! True story–I had to collect evidence and send it to them 🙂

    But nice thoughts on the circle of life. I always look forward to summer, but before we’re a month in I start craving “the drill” again 🙂

  3. Kaleidoscope, I’m the same way, when the last of the school days wane I can’t wait til there’s NO getting up at 6:00, NO missing the school bus, NO volleyball, NO basketball, NO girl scouts, NO band, NO extracurricular activities. But by June 30, I’m so over having them both at home I’m looking into year round school districts.

    Frug, honey, there is not flipping way I could EVER homeschool (see! One word!) my own children, as they would be clueless after a week, I’d be bald AND arrested for attempting to beat their skulls in with a live feline. No, the school and I have a great relationship. They teach my kids, and I send my kids there to be taught. It’s really a win-win.

    Great blog!! Enjoy the weekend.


  4. Making school lunches is the bane of my existence.

    Witness episode 1:

    Me: Kids, your lunches are ready. Don’t forget them.
    Kid 1: Seriously Dad, it’s been only 2 weeks and we’ve had the same exact lunch 8 times already.
    Me: But, they are good no?
    Kid 2: Dad, it’s like you make them on an assembly line.
    Me: …is that bad?

  5. Yeah. I could never homeschool, even if I was a SAHM. No sir. Get outta here, kids! Go socialize! Go work! Go away so mommy can sleep in and then also take a nap after lunch!

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